Rest

Increasingly I find that I am not alone in my perception of what seems to be the necessary, but time-wasting activity, of resting. Even by unthinkingly calling it an activity, I in effect defy its purpose, that of regeneration through non-activity.

Why do we feel so guilty when we try to rest? Our minds rushing ahead to what has to be done, what needs to be done, how to do it, when to do it. I often give up on resting and get up to start the doing, robbing myself of something life giving. Like not drinking enough water to hydrate my cells , I dehydrate my soul by not getting enough rest. I promise myself, of course, to go to bed earlier tonight.

For somehow, a night’s sleep can be justified. And for most of us that is mainly what resting consists of: going to bed at a reasonable hour and sleeping till duty calls at daybreak.

But to purposefully REST? To have a regime almost, like a gym program, to schedule time to settle down, to become quiet and to find peace? That ranks very low on our list of priorities, if at all.

That is why, ever since we started the regular practice of quiet days, we are being bowled over by the effect it is having on us.

I realize with a shock that I am so tired, stressed and driven that I can hardly settle down and just do nothing for a couple of hours . My mind refuses to relax at first, and I have to very gently and gradually shift into lower gears before I can become completely still.  

But like with all really good things,  my whole being starts resonating with the feeling of wellbeing that flows through me when I surrender to the silence and allow it to soothe me. 

I allow myself to be enveloped by the moment only, which for now is a glorious new season of planting and budding.

I’m discovering that to rest might mean that I am doing as little as possible, but that there is  a  whole lot being done unto me. One of the paradoxes of the spiritual journey maybe. In becoming still, as Eileen Caddy suggests, all I need is starting to reveal itself.

Matilda