The Restory Retreat Centre

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favour all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now.” ― William Hutchison Murray

1. I walk down the street.  There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.  I fall in.  I am lost … I am hopeless.  It isn’t my fault.  It takes forever to find a way out.  2. I walk down the same street.  There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.  I pretend I don’t see it.  I fall in again.  I can’t believe I’m in the same place.  But it isn’t my fault.  It still takes a long time to get out.  3. I walk down the same street.  There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.  I see it is there.  I still fall in … it’s a habit.  My eyes are open.  I know where I am.  It is my fault.  I get out immediately.  4. I walk down the same street.  There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.  I walk around it.  5. I walk down another street.  PORTIA NELSON

I have always loved this line from Michael Cunningham’s Pulitzer Prize winning novel  The Hours . We experience the truth of it constantly in our work in the retreats, spiritual direction and listening. What you see is quite often not what you get and patient love is required to bring us to the point where we really get to know our deep self and reveal something of it to another person. The gentle, delicate way in which God goes about doing that never ceases to amaze Matilda and me. We also know that we have to treat that very vulnerable part of being human with the greatest respect and care. George

We've looked at the basics of the True and False Self in a previous post (See: True and False is true ). An article* by Elyse Santilli in The Huffington Post provides valuable insight into the more practical and day to day matters where these two concepts are concerned:  When your ego [False Self]  is in charge: You're often caught in circling thoughts (thinking about the same things over and over). You're often consumed by your emotions (especially hurt, disappointment and anger). Your inner dialogue is heavily focused on anxieties, fears, doubts and self-criticism (I'm not good enough, I'm not beautiful, I can't do this, I totally stuffed up, I am bad at this, my life is meaningless). Your worth is dependent on external things (whether you've got a partner, a mortgage, a great job, a beautiful wardrobe, a huge circle of friends). You desperately need validation from other people to feel good about yourself. You're easily bru...

Photograph by Hanna Jacobs In our consumer society it might be a challenge writing an ad for contemplation*. I imagine it going something like this: Do not go the contemplative route if you want absolute control over your life and do not like surprises. We are not in a position to answer questions like “What is this going to ask from me?”; “Where will I eventually end up by practicing this?” This is definitely not for you if you are looking for a tame, predictable God and you do not like your boat to be rocked. Maybe you are a person loving life’s comforts in general and comfort zones in particular. In that regard you find a religion where your basic cultural values, ideals and yard sticks are maintained with a gospel layer laid on top of it ideal. If that is the case, steer clear from this. It is also not for you if you want to continue with business as usual. The contemplative life will change you. You are going to become you. Maybe that is exactly the one thing that yo...

Notes from a different drummer Learning the unforced rhythms of grace The practical  How Soul nurturing Soul friendship (Spiritual direction) "It is easier to find guides, someone to tell you what to do, than someone to be with you in a discerning, prayerful companionship as you work it out yourself. This is what spiritual direction is.”                                                                      ~ Eugene H. Peterson In the previous posts Spiritual Direction - 1 , Spiritual Direction - 2 and Spiritual Direction - 3 we've dealt extensively with the subject of spiritual direction. (See also the label heading Spiritual Direction that leads to other posts that touches on the subject). Here, we are merely indicating its importance in the process of Soul Nurturi...

Notes from a different drummer Learning the unforced rhythms of grace The practical How Soul nurturing Walking One of the most powerful tools to reconnect us with our wider environment, nourish our soul, open us up and ignite creativity is.... walking. Yes, plain walking. No, you don’t need expensive shoes or fancy clothes. Don’t over-complicate things. Most of all, do not make it a competition of sorts in whatever disguise it may come. This is not a training session as such. This is taking your inner child for a stroll and feasting your senses. Most probably it is the best medicine in the cheapest form. But I’ve said enough. Let’s give the floor to some of the great lovers of and believers in walking. George

Notes from a different drummer Learning the unforced rhythms of grace I will give you treasures from dark, secret places;  then you will know that I am the LORD  and that the God of Israel has called you by name.                                                             Isaiah 45:3 (Good News Bible) The practical How . The notes from the drummer have reached your inner ear. You are waking up and gradually you realise something is being born. There is no reason for panic. But it can still be a very confusing experience. And it can be made all the more difficult if you are not introduced to some strange companions that will accompany you on the journey. You are sure to encounter them and should you not be told that they are to be expected, their presence can indeed lead to anxiety and fu...

Notes from a different drummer Learning the unforced rhythms of grace The practical How . The notes from the drummer have reached your inner ear. You are waking up. Now what? Don’t panic.  You’re not going mad, although it might feel like it. Some might even say you are rocking the boat. After all, there is the adjective different before the drummer whose music you are tuning into. And although there are days when you wish that your soul has never been stirred and things could be just as it was before, a seed lying dormant for years has cracked the soil.  Of course, you can choose the business-as-usual-route. You can play it safe and don’t let your life be disrupted. You can pull out the new seedling by its roots and turn the volume way down, silence the notes.To stay in your comfort zone is a very tempting possibility. Millions of people do it.  But if you want to live, you’ll have to tend to the new life that has sprouted in your soul. It ...

Notes from a different drummer Learning the unforced rhythms of grace In the course of the past week we’ve given the bigger picture of our approach and we’ve zoomed in on the different aspects of our diagram*. We’ve introduced you to the skeleton as it were. Now it is time to add some meat and expand even more on the different issues. In our approach we want to be as practical as possible. How does all this that we are talking about play itself out in ordinary life? There is the common misconception that mysticism has to do with pie-in-the-sky, airy fairy stuff. From experience we want to differ. Mysticism does not mind in the least to get its hands dirty. On the contrary, it thrives in the nitty-gritty – often the mess - of the ordinary. To convey that right from the start, it is important to write from the right angle. After all has been said and done, more must have been done than said. Looking at our diagram it might seem as if we disregard what has gone befor...

On the 19th of November, we have been on Barrowfield for a year. It has been a year of settling in, preparing facilities for The Restory and the retreats we envisage and coping with the unexpected like taking care of relatives. At the moment we are in the final stages of getting everything in place for our upcoming marriage on the 6th of December. It seems as if we tend to end our years by working through to-do-lists. Sometimes we look at all that still has to be done and become despondent in the face of all the challenges. A sure antidote is to then consider what has been achieved, how good it is to live here in this beautiful part of our country and to share what we have with so many people. For all the interest and support, thank you. All this is an immense help in the part that is taking a little longer. George

“ I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.” J.R.R. Tolkien The air around us here on the farm is filled with the sounds of birds not easily noticed. I do not know half of them. By the time I get to the bird call CD, I’ve forgotten how it sounded when I heard it on the way to the workshop. On good days I can tell you it wasn’t an African Penguin or a Cape Vulture, but that’s about it. And for the life of me I can’t make any sense from the calls I read about in birding books. A bird would fly right into my face crying “plooodleeoo” and apparently a shriller “kweeeer” and I won’t be able to say: “Watch out, you Blackheaded Oriole!” So, I keep listening to songs I know of singers I don’t. Sebastien, Matilda’s nephew who is currently here with us on Barrowfield, loves fishing. No, wrong spelling! He lives fishing – line, hook and sinker, bait, fishing spots, species, weather conditions, seasons, reci...