Exploring the Enneagram through Art (continued)
The Signature of this personality is their genuine generosity and helpfulness. The unconscious childhood message they received however, was that it isn’t good to have your own needs. They therefore have insecurities about others’ affections for them and reach out to others in an attempt to be needed and loved.
This may lead to Twos losing touch with their own needs and hurts. They may even believe that they themselves don’t need support and take great pride in this.This pride blinds them to their own needs which get neglected in favour of the feeling of well-being they experience from helping others. The result in the long run may be physical, emotional and even financial burn-out.
They connect with their own Life essence when they learn to nurture themselves and look after their own needs. Two’s come to the realization that love cannot be earned.They become aware of unconditional love which is always present and always available if we open ourselves up to it. When they recognize the true nature of love it brings a great sense of freedom and lightness, because if love is no longer a commodity or something that we can lose, the desperate search for attention and acceptance ends. They become deeply unselfish and are free to love others, do good happily without having to draw attention to their efforts.
The sculpture depicts a worse for wear Helper with huge hands on his very dilapidated “ivory tower” (being held together by iron bands) reaching out to help others while being unaware that his own rescue lies in the knowledge that love need not be earned. The essence of self nurturing is depicted in a “pool” of unconditional love that surrounds us always and a figure “floating” within the pool mirroring the posture of the helper to some extend, but being in a self nurturing position.
Materials used: Ceramic clay, Pondorosa Pine, iron band, screws.
Size: 45cm high x 43cm wide x 43cm deep
Artwork by Matilda Clifford and George Angus
Bibliography:
Helen Palmer, The Enneagram (HarperCollins Publishers, 1991)
Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson, The Wisdom of the Enneagram (Bantam Books, 1999)
Richard Rohr and Andreas Ebert, The Enneagram A Christian Perspective (The Crossroad Publishing Company, 2009)
I relate completely with "The Helper", me in essence. This has been my life, this has been me for such a long time...., the one problem I experience is; when I have decided to "take care" of my own needs, "the people" around me now calls me selfish and not caring, WHAT TO DO?
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comment!It is great that you are starting to become aware of your own needs. It is a sure sign that you are waking up to your True Self. But because you have been relying on outside acceptance and love to a large extend, you will find it difficult to cope with others' opinion in trying to nurture yourself. You might find that you are your own worst critic in this regard, as well!
ReplyDeleteThe dilemma might be that the people close to you: children, partner, parents, have been trained by YOU to need you. This is because of the Two's perception that only when you are needed, will you be loved. They may find it difficult to understand as they are used to having you put them first always.
You now are aware of your inner voice and needs,but maybe still need to justify taking better care of yourself. People pushing your "guilt button", by calling you selfish, will therefore be playing right along with your own inner critic. As you grow in the sense of your own worth, these outside accusations will have less of an effect on your well-being. Try to not care so much about what others think of you, but listen first and foremost to your own inner sense of knowing what is good for you.
The truth is, that you most probably have been exploited because of your caring and helpful personality. In that regard you will have to set very strong boundaries for yourself, mainly by not becoming entangled in other people's problems and keeping your own best interest foremost in your mind. Learn to listen to your body and become acquainted with your feelings. Twos tend to focus so much on others' feelings that they lose touch with their own.
Major healing for you lies in realizing that love is not earned. It is not self-sacrifice that will heal your heart and bring fulfilment, but self-nurturing, accepting yourself exactly as you are.You don't need to be afraid that having problems and needs will drive people away.Your dear ones love you for WHO you are and not what you do. If you look back on your life, you will see that this is true.
You(and they)will soon find that you have more energy and generosity to put to use as you healthily see fit, than when you were trying to be the strong, willing and able, but exhausted, work horse.