Going far away to come back to life

My dad in his new room, listening to his favourite music
on a new pair of head phones.

It all worked out much better than I anticipated. I stressed about just about everything: from getting the bulky application form completed and delivered with the attachments of medical reports, psychiatrist's evaluation, bank statements, consent forms and necessary signatures gathered and duly attached, to the painstaking marking of every single item of clothing and possession that would be moved along with my dad to his new care facility, and the actual move, taking his furniture and belongings and installing it into his room before he would set foot in it.

It was a much bigger exercise than I had imagined from the start, and we had to keep our wits together and pull together as siblings and partners in a team effort to see this through.

Driving him there, he and I have a couple of hours on the road to discuss the way forward and reflect on the past that led up to this drastic move. He surprises me with his total acceptance of the reality of his condition and the necessity of getting him the full care he needs. This doesn't mean that he finds it easy to be moved 300 kms away from everyone and everything familiar to him, but his acceptance and the trust this implies humbles me.

As we come to within sight of the little town of Wakkerstroom, I point out the big complex of the retirement village that make out much of the town. He quietly says: "My laaste staanplek." (My final resting place).

I pray that it will be a very good place for him to spend a much deserved and well cared for retirement.

He loves his room with all his favourite things around him. He charms the nursing staff with his attempts at speaking Zulu and his quick humour is starting to shine through again. For a long while he was completely lethargic and seemed cut off from reality. Now it feels as if he has come back from a far and sinister land.

Strange as it may sound: my father had to be moved far away to be able to come back to life. It is good to see him feeling safe.

Matilda

Comments

Vanuit Die Restory - Gesprekke Tussen Reisgenote (110)

Die Week Na 'n Dood Sebastien op sy gelukkigste - by water, besig om vis te vang Die Gesprek Elemente Uit Die Gesprek Musiek Sebastien het altyd gesê, "I like old music.' Hy het. Billy Joel se Piano Man was vir baie lank die ringtone op sy foon. Dat ons só gelukkig kan wees, dankie Sebas. George & Matilda

Vanuit Die Restory / From The Restory (135)

Onlangse Oorsig / Recent Summary Foto's Van Onlangse Gebeure / Pictures Of Recent Events 'n Huis opgeknap en geverf met 'n nuwe badkamer, die koms van lente en reën, retreats, die CMR se breimarathon, aanbied en afsluiting van die Verfrissingskursus in geestelike begeleiding, bywoon van ons kleindogter Ariana se gradeplegtigheid ("Nee Oupa, dis 'n gradige plegtigheid!") voordat sy volgende jaar grootskool toe gaan. A house renovated and painted with a new bathroom, the arrival of spring and rain, retreats, the CMR's knitting marathon, presenting and finishing the Refresher course in spiritual guidance, attending our granddaughter Ariana's graduation before she goes to big school next year. Klank / Sound Die klank van sagte reën na die storm is op baie vlakke nou gepas. The sound of gentle rain after the storm is now appropriate on many levels. Met ons liefde, soos altyd. With our love, as always. George & Matilda

Vanuit Die Restory - Gesprekke Tussen Reisgenote (120)

Skuld as Motivering Die Gesprek Elemente Uit Die Gesprek ~ ❖ ~ "I am convinced that guilt and shame are never from God. They are merely the defenses of the False Self as it is shocked at its own poverty — the defenses of a little man who wants to be a big man. God leads by compassion toward the soul, never by condemnation. If God would relate to us by severity and punitiveness, God would only be giving us permission to do the same (which is tragically, due to our mistaken images of God, exactly what has happened!)." Richard Rohr ~ ❖ ~ "It is about as hard to absolve yourself of your own guilt as it is to sit in your own lap. Wrongdoing sparks guilt sparks wrongdoing ad nauseam, and we all try to disguise the grim process from both ourselves and everybody else. In order to break the circuit we need friends before whom we can put aside the disguise, trusting that when they see us for what we fully are, they won't run away screaming with, if nothing wors

The Restory Retreat Centre

Search This Blog