Going far away to come back to life

My dad in his new room, listening to his favourite music
on a new pair of head phones. 

It all worked out much better than I anticipated. I stressed about just about everything: from getting the bulky application form completed and delivered with the attachments of medical reports, psychiatrist's evaluation, bank statements, consent forms and necessary signatures gathered and duly attached, to the painstaking marking of every single item of clothing and possession that would be moved along with my dad to his new care facility, and the actual move, taking his furniture and belongings and installing it into his room before he would set foot in it.

It was a much bigger exercise than I had imagined from the start, and we had to keep our wits together and pull together as siblings and partners in a team effort to see this through.

Driving him there, he and I have a couple of hours on the road to discuss the way forward and reflect on the past that led up to this drastic move. He surprises me with his total acceptance of the reality of his condition and the necessity of getting him the full care he needs. This doesn't mean that he finds it easy to be moved 300 kms away from everyone and everything familiar to him, but his acceptance and the trust this implies humbles me.

As we come to within sight of the little town of Wakkerstroom, I point out the big complex of the retirement village that make out much of the town. He quietly says: "My laaste staanplek." (My final resting place).

I pray that it will be a very good place for him to spend a much deserved and well cared for retirement.

He loves his room with all his favourite things around him. He charms the nursing staff with his attempts at speaking Zulu and his quick humour is starting to shine through again. For a long while he was completely lethargic and seemed cut off from reality. Now it feels as if he has come back from a far and sinister land.

Strange as it may sound: my father had to be moved far away to be able to come back to life. It is good to see him feeling safe.

Matilda