All and only

Mahatma Gandhi played a huge part in the political history of India yet lived a very simple life despite his influence and stature.  In the end he scaled down to wearing only a loincloth with sandals and having only a pair of glasses, a watch, a book of songs and a bowl. He found that by limiting his material possessions he not only simplified his life but also created inner peace

Lately I find myself often thinking about Gandhi while helping Matilda with Oupa Frans. He is totally preoccupied with a few possessions: his cap, his watch and his glasses. Sitting buck naked on the little bench in the bathroom after we have showered him, he’ll be looking and asking for them first thing. Despite being then strangely overdressed naked, according to him he is ready to face the world. When asked why it is so important to him to have his glasses as his eyes are not that bad,  he replies: “They are the only glasses I’ve got.

Gandhi would have said: “They are the only glasses I need.” From a position of inner peace and security he winnowed it down to the bare essentials of what should be possessed or purchased. Oupa Frans finds in his possessions his pillars of security, his beacons of safety.

In all fairness, psychologically Oupa Frans has been in a very bad space the past few months. His actions should not be judged on a rational level. That has been our greatest challenge – what can we expect him to do and should we then keep at it until he does it? Is it reasonable to ask him to stop spitting all over and then expect him to clean up after he has done it, or is our only option to approach it without any expectations, cope with it more indirectly by treating the build-up of phlegm and do all the cleaning up ourselves? Indeed a constant process of discernment.

Nevertheless, although we are not able to always fathom his deep motivations and the exact reasons lying at the root of the importance his possessions have for him, they become lenses through which I look at myself. While placing his cap on his often still moist head or slipping his watch over the thin arm, I ask myself: “What will I be looking for sitting naked on my little bench at age 78?” What concerns me even more is that I am in all probability already doing it.

I am definitely more Frans than Gandhi. But in my case there are no mitigating circumstances. That’s the sad part.

George