My kingdom for deipnosophy

I really did not know that there was a word for it. 

I am always hungry for it, longing for it, searching for it, missing it way too many times, and over the moon every time I encounter or am part of it. In Shakespeare’s play Richard III the king cries out, “A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse!” My cry would be, “Deipnosophy! Deipnosophy! My kingdom for deipnosophy!” 

Deipnosophy means the love of, or skill of, dinner-table conversation (from the Greek deipnos – dinner). 

It is truly like wearing a pair of shoes two sizes too small when you’re at a social gathering where conversation consists of boasting (telling of recent holidays, best airlines, worst stop-overs, bad service at well-known restaurants, the fuel consumption of their new SUV, the trials and tribulations at the last Comrades marathon she ran and names dropping. Among other things), rugby talk, dirty jokes and innuendos and topics solely picked from facebook pages and whatsapp messages on a cell phone that is ever present and never quiet. 

The irony is, all the elements mentioned above (maybe not the deliberate dirty jokes and innuendos and the ever-present cell phone) can be present in a good conversation as well, but then in the right mix. Such a conversation has a life of its own and is more than any single contributor. It switches and flows, changes subjects with the mention of a word, covers a wide range of topics, can joke and disagree and leaves you at the end with a deep sense of satisfaction. 

There is skill involved, but nothing spectacular. You must be able to concentrate and focus on the person in front of you or the topic that is raised and not on what you want to say. There must be a deep willingness to listen and to learn, and the value of a good question now and then can never be overestimated. And when you are talking, know that you can and must stop at some point. We are talking conversation here, not soliloquy. 

Deipnosophy can unfortunately (or fortunately) not be bottled. It is best experienced in the moment and live. But good dinner table conversationists can be discovered, invited again and cherished. If you are one of the lucky ones to have such a group of friends, hang on to them for dear life. They are the nourishers of your soul that provide the fat that is needed to get you through all those hours of fluff, rubbish and boredom. 

We should do everything in our power to save the rhino, the whale and the good conversation.

And now I shall stop.

One of our most valued and wonderful sources of good conversation - table talk at The Restory.
Photo by Matilda Angus

George