Crowns and diapers

Taking care of Oupa Frans for the past two and a half months had its advantages. Within a very short period we, as new residents, got to know almost the entire medical fraternity of Volksrust and a few of its members in Wakkerstroom and Newcastle. As an extra bonus we discovered more than the medical side of things.

On one visit to dr Strauss, who ended up being our GP, Oupa Frans was extremely agitated and uncomfortable while we were sitting in the waiting area. We were almost 100 percent certain that the swollen prostate was again blocking the urinary tract and that he had to get another catheter. The fact that the psychiatric medication had basically no effect was usually a very good indicator in that regard.

The receptionist with whom we were by now on a first name basis, suggested that we take him to one of the rooms that was empty while dr Strauss was busy in another. Oupa Frans would be more comfortable lying down on a bed.

Getting to this particular room we had to walk down a short passage with a door at the end where we had to turn right. One only realised it to be a door on closer inspection, because on coming down the passage it looked more like a bulletin board. Its entire surface was covered with pink notes and a colourful array of balloons acting as a frame.

While Matilda turned right and helped Oupa Frans onto the bed, I quickly read the other door. The messages on all the notes were basically in the same vein: “Congratulations dr Hennie! You must be so proud”; “Well done Rolene! You have put Volksrust on the map.”

Tried as I may I just could not connect the dots. It must be said that I was basically just scanning through the notes on my way to help Matilda and being new in the area I just could not think of anything that might have caused such a unanimous sense of pride and delight in a community. It was April. Any jubilation over exceptional matric results would have subsided by now I thought. 

I asked Sandra, the receptionist who accompanied us and was now taking orders for tea about the door. She looked at me with an expression of total disbelief. “From which planet are you?” asked the expression. She on the other hand was more polite: “Rolene, dr Hennie’s daughter was crowned Miss South Africa two weeks ago.”

Well, I never! We do not have a TV and being so preoccupied with Oupa Frans they could have sold South Africa for all we know while we were trying to cope on the farm. Miss South Africa with her roots right under our noses! And literally under Oupa Frans’s, putting in the new catheter.

Dr Hennie was indeed proud when we congratulated him and laughed when we told him about our ignorance. It so happened that he had to put in new catheters on two of the many public holidays we have over April and on many an occasion he could not reach us when he phoned in connection with Oupa Frans. Our cell phone only has a signal at the front door. We spent many an hour in the bathroom where the phone either could not be heard or we just could not reach it in time on running to answer it. He was well aware of our situation and isolation.

This whole incident may have resulted in us being quite fussy. It may well be that we now have a few standard questions before allowing any doctor to even touch us: “Have any member of your family won a beauty pageant recently? Or at any time in the past? Or a Nobel peace prize? Or an election?”

We decided not to go that route. We suspect that we shall then seldom find a doctor and go through life with little cure for our ailments.

To some degree it trivializes the Miss South Africa title. It does not make the father of the current holder of that title a better doctor. It did not influence any of our decisions in deciding what is best for Oupa Frans. In all probability the same could be applied to most titles.

It brings perspective to all situations. We, being so absorbed with nursing and caring, with our own situation and lives, had to realise that life carries on outside our little sphere. Where children are beautiful and talented and parents proud. Fortunately and rightly it is so.

However, the other side of the coin is just as true. While some wear crowns, others wear diapers and won’t be able to ever attend any prestigious dinner again. That does not make them lesser beings. They raised families and created memories. They laid the basis of so much to come. If ever we were to discard that and only focus on the titles and the crowns we shall be the poorer for it.

We are new in Volksrust. We have never met the current Miss South Africa and we do not share the same level of pride as the community. But we expect that her reign will indeed be characterized by compassion and care. The fact that she is studying to become a doctor plays a big part in our expectation. But most of all, we’ve met Rolene’s father. And he’s a good man.

George