Where do you stay?

Photograph by Matilda Angus

The Word became flesh and blood, and moved into the neighborhood.

                                                                                                     John 1:14   (The Message)

On the Living School website, they start off with a few questions:

• Do you seek contemplative grounding and purpose?
• Do you long for wisdom elders and companions to share your spiritual journey?

“Yes” was our immediate, unspoken, deep-seated answer to both of those questions and in this first year of the program Matilda and I can honestly say that it is indeed what we are experiencing. It is true gift.

There is also a third question:

• Are you willing to be shaken and changed at your very foundation?

Phew, they don’t pull any punches, do they! But it’s a yes to that as well. After all, it cannot be that challenging.

Alas, it is. We are being shaken and changed at our very foundation.

It is not as if we are being roughed over or man-handled. As James Finley, one of the faculty members would say: “It’s subtle, subtle, subtle……” And it is not so much new material or concepts being placed before us that we have to master intellectually (even though the reading list is formidable and the dictionaries and Google never too far). Gently, gradually we are guided deeper into the age old Christian mystical tradition to come face to face with the One who knows us deeper and more lovingly, passionately than we know ourselves. Questions that we have been living with for years are delicately being exposed, deep longings being revealed.

Nothing is as and what it used to be. Who is God really? Who am I? Where does the Bible fit into all of this and why is there this deep resistance within me to all these old, stale interpretations and dogmatic formulations? Why is it that I am absolutely convinced that the way we used to do Christianity and church is just not going to work in this new world and stage of history we’re entering into? What does it mean to follow Jesus? Who is Jesus? Who is the Christ? What is my place and role within this wonderful, created world?

I can go to the many books on these subjects and shake the answers out. This time round it won’t work though. I just know this has to be personally experienced, lived and it is going to be a process rather than an answer. Job 42: 5 paraphrased describes it very well: “In the past I knew only what others had told me, but now I want to see you with my own eyes.”

So, a few weeks ago I arrive at my spiritual director with all these questions. And she listens to me and sends me away saying I should go and read John’s gospel differently, imaginatively. I should go and meet Jesus again for the first time (to borrow the title of Marcus J. Borg’s wonderful book).

And that’s what I’m currently doing, reading the Bible again after many years, wishing to meet Jesus. Getting hooked in the process and not getting much further than chapter 1 of John!

It is interesting how many titles there are for, or that somehow refers to Jesus in this first chapter: the Word, light, son of God, Lamb of God, rabbi, messiah, Christ, king of Israel.

I am captivated by the very first encounter of the first disciples with Jesus though. On hearing John saying: “There is the Lamb of God,” they go after him. Jesus turns around and asks the two men following him: “What are you looking for?”

I imagine myself as one of those two men standing among all these titles floating around me. My answer to Jesus’ question would be something in the line of: “We’ve just heard John calling you the Lamb of God. Can you elaborate on that title please? Who are you?”

But they do not ask my question. “Where are you staying?” is the one they ask. And Jesus says: “Come and see.” I am fascinated.

And I write a letter.

Jesus,

 Where do you stay? 

Do you have a TV in your room or do you listen to the radio? 

Are there leftovers, milk and some eggs in your fridge? A few tomatoes? Do you also get frustrated when you forget about the lettuce and have to throw it away? 

Are there any books on the nightstand next to your bed? Are you a night or a morning person and do you set your alarm? 

Do you have more than one pair of sandals and do you keep them clean? 

When do you do your washing? 

Is there a cat sleeping on a chair in your house? 

Are any of your taps dripping and do you also use silicone and duct tape when you run out of options? 

What’s on the shelf in your shower: shower gel, shampoo? 

Do you have a particular spot where you charge your cell phone? 

Do you recycle? 

Do you make tea in a pot or do you prefer coffee?

 After they have been with you at your home that afternoon, Andrew told Peter: “We’ve found the Messiah.” 

Personally I do not think that you were talking theology all the time. At one stage you’ve showed them the dove’s nest on the light just above your front door. And that the branch of the neighbour’s peach tree hanging far and low over the fence in your back yard has the sweetest fruit. In return you give them eggs from your four hens.  

I would have loved to drop in on you with two bottles of our home made yoghurt with nuts, raisins and honey stirred in. We would sit in the sun next to your kitchen table and eat directly from the bottles with tea spoons. You will laugh often. I would ask for tea.  

Back home I will also tell Matilda: “I have found the Christ.”  

I think I am beginning to.  

Deep down I just know that you will smile when I tell you that I find all your titles a bit of a nuisance and distraction at this stage. “Why don’t you write to me instead?” you’ll say.  

Thank you. I thought that’s what I heard you say. 

George