My soul has expensive taste, sometimes. This confuses me as I strongly believe, in trying to live consciously, that simplicity is an important principle to steer by. This goes hand in hand with incorporating periods of silence, living creatively and being nourished by what Nature offers us. We all know, of course, that if simplicity in food implies that it be fresh, organic and not chemically tampered with, it is not come by cheaply or easily. Quite the contrary! And that might explain things. Living with simplicity does not mean living a deprived or lowly life.
I once bought a book because it was beautiful. What made the purchase extraordinary is that it was newly published and I paid the full price for it in a book store that is generally overpriced. I hardly ever allow myself such luxuries, always veering towards second-hand book stores or at best the tables beneath the SPECIAL OFFER! poster. I'll convince myself that the plain skirt at the winter sale will be more versatile than the silk blouse I so passionately covet and which will NEVER drop in price.
This book is bound with a hard cover and has an old-fashioned fabric spine and the pages look aged and irregular. The print of a medieval painting on the front cover perfected its spell over me. That, and the title:
Romancing the Ordinary
A Year of Simple Splendour
I wasn't familiar with the author at that stage. But Sarah Ban Breathnach has since become a beloved companion. Her similarly scrumptious daybook, Simple Abundance, is on my bedside table and I marvel at the countless times I've experienced an almost uncanny synchronicity in the piece written for the day.
In a sense the luxury of that first purchase coincided with, and surely was also instrumental in my soul's awakening. I felt as if I had found a soul mate and couldn't get enough of the beautiful words and images that spilled from those pages, reminding me of what it was I truly needed and wanted in my life.
Yesterday as I read July 4 in Simple Abundance, I was struck again by how it was exactly what I needed to hear. She writes about the difference between expectations and dreams and touches on William James' principles of psychology in this regard. As a champion of Pragmatism he reasoned that the world already existed when we were born and that we have to accept it as it is, but that it is our inner reality, created by ourselves, that will determine whether we experience the world as hostile or friendly.
Our happiness very much depends on whether our expectations are met with in our reality and if it isn't we feel let down or downright downtrodden.
We have difficulty accepting things because we have certain expectations as to the outcome of things. We spend years brooding and beating ourselves up over unwise decisions made by ourselves or others, seemingly expecting it to be somehow redeemed by our not letting it go before...what? We very often don't even know what it is we need to find peace.
"...Acceptance of what has happened is the first step in overcoming the consequences of any misfortune," James reasoned.
Sarah then explains that to accept our reality as it is, or to not have any expectations at all, does not mean that we relinquish our dreams. It simply means that we are not so sold out to any one single outcome, but are open to what our souls are capable of bringing brilliantly about if we do not interfere with our little mind schedules and ego agendas.
This is important for me, as an artist, to remember. To work passionately on a sculpture, but to have no expectations about how it will be accepted out there. To dream big about our life in Wakkerstroom, but to not control the outcome with rigid expectations of where and what we think will be a suitable base from where to do our soul task. It is easy to get egotistical, even about what we believe our souls are put here for. We have to be vigilant about this, the addiction to expecting outcomes might well have started with our mother's smile when we first gurgled.
"Living your life as a dreamer and not as an 'expector' of things is a personal declaration of independence." Says Sarah on America's annual celebration of Independence.
And William James takes it even further: "When once a decision is reached and execution is the order of the day, dismiss absolutely all responsibility and care about the outcome."
Really?! We may do that? I can feel my whole body relax at the thought of being allowed to simply go about what I have decided to bake, make, wear, create, write or do in accordance to the like, love, passion, desire, dream or simple need I had that led me to the action, and NOT WORRYING about if it was right, necessary, justified, logical, responsible and always, always wondering: WILL IT TURN OUT ALRIGHT?!
It boils down to getting the ego to quiet down, to trust the deeper knowing and to be led more and more by it. Letting go of expectations is a wonderful exercise in getting there.
A dear friend shared exactly this in a very practical way. Instead of always asking why things are the way they are, rather rephrase the question. Ask "what will it take to be better than this?" Do not try to answer this. Because this will then become an expectation of a specific outcome that may be far inferior to what is actually possible. Simply live with the question and simply see where it takes you. Be open. Be aware. Do the next thing that presents itself.
Thank you Willam James. Thank you Sarah Ban Breathnach. Thank you Femia. This is so simple. Yet priceless. I had it all wrong: my soul do not have expensive taste. I believe it rather has exquisite taste.
Matilda
I once bought a book because it was beautiful. What made the purchase extraordinary is that it was newly published and I paid the full price for it in a book store that is generally overpriced. I hardly ever allow myself such luxuries, always veering towards second-hand book stores or at best the tables beneath the SPECIAL OFFER! poster. I'll convince myself that the plain skirt at the winter sale will be more versatile than the silk blouse I so passionately covet and which will NEVER drop in price.
This book is bound with a hard cover and has an old-fashioned fabric spine and the pages look aged and irregular. The print of a medieval painting on the front cover perfected its spell over me. That, and the title:
Romancing the Ordinary
A Year of Simple Splendour
I wasn't familiar with the author at that stage. But Sarah Ban Breathnach has since become a beloved companion. Her similarly scrumptious daybook, Simple Abundance, is on my bedside table and I marvel at the countless times I've experienced an almost uncanny synchronicity in the piece written for the day.
In a sense the luxury of that first purchase coincided with, and surely was also instrumental in my soul's awakening. I felt as if I had found a soul mate and couldn't get enough of the beautiful words and images that spilled from those pages, reminding me of what it was I truly needed and wanted in my life.
Yesterday as I read July 4 in Simple Abundance, I was struck again by how it was exactly what I needed to hear. She writes about the difference between expectations and dreams and touches on William James' principles of psychology in this regard. As a champion of Pragmatism he reasoned that the world already existed when we were born and that we have to accept it as it is, but that it is our inner reality, created by ourselves, that will determine whether we experience the world as hostile or friendly.
Our happiness very much depends on whether our expectations are met with in our reality and if it isn't we feel let down or downright downtrodden.
We have difficulty accepting things because we have certain expectations as to the outcome of things. We spend years brooding and beating ourselves up over unwise decisions made by ourselves or others, seemingly expecting it to be somehow redeemed by our not letting it go before...what? We very often don't even know what it is we need to find peace.
"...Acceptance of what has happened is the first step in overcoming the consequences of any misfortune," James reasoned.
Sarah then explains that to accept our reality as it is, or to not have any expectations at all, does not mean that we relinquish our dreams. It simply means that we are not so sold out to any one single outcome, but are open to what our souls are capable of bringing brilliantly about if we do not interfere with our little mind schedules and ego agendas.
This is important for me, as an artist, to remember. To work passionately on a sculpture, but to have no expectations about how it will be accepted out there. To dream big about our life in Wakkerstroom, but to not control the outcome with rigid expectations of where and what we think will be a suitable base from where to do our soul task. It is easy to get egotistical, even about what we believe our souls are put here for. We have to be vigilant about this, the addiction to expecting outcomes might well have started with our mother's smile when we first gurgled.
"Living your life as a dreamer and not as an 'expector' of things is a personal declaration of independence." Says Sarah on America's annual celebration of Independence.
And William James takes it even further: "When once a decision is reached and execution is the order of the day, dismiss absolutely all responsibility and care about the outcome."
Really?! We may do that? I can feel my whole body relax at the thought of being allowed to simply go about what I have decided to bake, make, wear, create, write or do in accordance to the like, love, passion, desire, dream or simple need I had that led me to the action, and NOT WORRYING about if it was right, necessary, justified, logical, responsible and always, always wondering: WILL IT TURN OUT ALRIGHT?!
It boils down to getting the ego to quiet down, to trust the deeper knowing and to be led more and more by it. Letting go of expectations is a wonderful exercise in getting there.
A dear friend shared exactly this in a very practical way. Instead of always asking why things are the way they are, rather rephrase the question. Ask "what will it take to be better than this?" Do not try to answer this. Because this will then become an expectation of a specific outcome that may be far inferior to what is actually possible. Simply live with the question and simply see where it takes you. Be open. Be aware. Do the next thing that presents itself.
Thank you Willam James. Thank you Sarah Ban Breathnach. Thank you Femia. This is so simple. Yet priceless. I had it all wrong: my soul do not have expensive taste. I believe it rather has exquisite taste.
Matilda
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